ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
