I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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