Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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