Me. At least after what I've been through.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was confusing and full of hummus
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
