someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize