One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
