I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Blood and glitter go together right?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
