You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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