so explain again why im purple
no
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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