okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
