Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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