I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Screwed.edu
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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