Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
