i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
