i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
