We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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