dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
