So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
