i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
