so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
