I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
