Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
MIDGETS
????
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize