He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
