I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize