Define "chronic" masturbator.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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