i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize
