in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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