Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize