She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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