It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize