he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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