I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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