I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
