He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
