It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
