Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
