Your tits are I can't wait for
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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