it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
