Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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