I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
this will be a night to untag.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
last night I used snow as a chaser
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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