I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize