Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
