I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
