if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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