her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
