New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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