I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
