we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
