went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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