Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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