I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How does it feel to date your dad?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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