And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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