And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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