no you cant smoke seaweed
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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