How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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