You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
