I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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