i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
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I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
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he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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