Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
