So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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