pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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