is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
