theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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