She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
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nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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