You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
