Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
